THE DOG (and the neighbor)

If you have followed this blog for a while it will come as no surprise that we have another interesting neighbor situation. If you haven't followed click here,here, and here to get a glimpse into our past of crazies.

Well it seems the other night our neighbor (and when I say neighbor, I mean our apartment complex is next to a house that this neighbor lives in.) decided to bring home a dog.

We haven't figured out yet if it's staying or if the guy has guests and they brought the dog. Either way, let me tell you the dog is in danger of a water ballooning. It was introduced to this guys very small backyard last week around 1 in the morning.

I laid in bed and listened to them slamming, shuffling, and hammering. (I think they must have been building a dog house or something else equally absurd to be doing at 1 a.m.) then the dog came.

It trotted around the backyard all night. Getting familiar with its surroundings. All the while, the collar clinking. Which doesn't sound so bad, but it is. It's always clinking. There is a non stop clink, clink, clink at all hours of the day and night. Not to mention the whining, barking, and other noises that I kid you not, sound just like Chewbacca.

Sure it's annoying. But could be ignored, unfortunately that's not all. Something new has developed. The old man comes out doors first thing in the morning (while I am still sleeping) and in his best, very loud "dog/baby voice" says things like "Are you a good dog?" "Are you?" or "Come here, come here, let me pet you," "Don't you want to get pets and loves?" "Come here." Or Bob's favorite conversation between the man and man's best friend..

Dog: Bark!
Man: No!
Dog: Bark!
Man: No!
Dog: BARK!
Man: NO!

This goes on for what I am sure is minutes, but seems like days. Which is fun for us because we not only have to hear the dog barking, but the man as well.

Lately Bob and I have been plotting ways to put a stop to all the noise. Contemplating crowbars, and setting the wild creature free. (the dog, not the man.) Instead Bob informed me this morning of what he finally did to fix the problem. (And I wish I had it on videotape.)

Bob said the man came out and started into his usual dog talking. The man said "Are you a good dog?" Well the window was open in our apartment building, so Bob decided to answer in his best high pitched puppy voice... "Yep."

He said the man stopped for a second, couldn't figure out where the voice had come from, looked around for a second, looked a little embarrassed, turned around and walked back into the house. Bob said he was laughing so hard he could hardly breath. And I have to say when he told me about it this morning I had a good chuckle too. I know it sounds a little harsh, but he needs to realize he is talking so loudly and so early in the morning that he is disturbing the entire apartment complex.

Bob said he actually saw another dog in his yard as well. One with a cone around its neck. I assume he doesn't bark due to the embarrassment of the lampshade on his head. Now if only we could procure another cone, and figure out a way to sneak over there while the creature is sleeping and slip it on his head. (the man, not the dog.)

The lady on the horse.

Bob and I were checking out at Walmart this weekend, when the cashier said..

"Your hair. You look like that lady on the horse."

I didn't know what to say so I just smiled and said thank you. Then she persisted with..

"You know who I'm talking about right? The lady on the horse."

I looked at Bob, like maybe he knew. We both just smiled awkwardly and said we weren't quite sure who the lady on the horse was. The cashier then said..

"Gwen... you now Gwen.."

I interjected with Stefani? Although I knew in a million years no one would confuse me with her, and further more, had she ever even been on a horse?

That's when it came to her. "Guinevere."

I said thank you, even though she never said anything like "Your hair is so pretty, it looks like Guinevere's". I assumed it was a compliment, though a strange one. We thanked her and left. When we got out of ear shot, I just burst into laughter. I don't know why it struck me so funny, but I was dying. Maybe it was because she referred to her as the lady on the horse, as if that was something we would all know right off the bat, or maybe it was just a bizarre conversation. But it was the highlight of my evening.

Happy Monday! The sun is shining, it's a beautiful day. In fact it might be the perfect day for a horse ride.

The Blind Date

Recently a single friend of mine was telling me about a bad blind date she had just gone on. While she was describing all the horror, she asked if she was the only one who ever gets set up on really bad blind dates? I had to laugh, and ask "Aren't most blind dates bad?" I mean come on. You don't know if there is any attraction ahead of time, and if the date goes bad there is an obligation to get through the entire date, so you don't offend the mutual friends involved. I know there are exceptions to the rule. But most of my friends have agreed blind dates, usually never go past the first date.

This got me thinking of one of my worst blind dates. When I was single, I was in a sorority. One of our activities was to get set up on a date with a guy from a fraternity. But it was at a party thing, so we could all just mingle, and see if we liked each other.

{Before I go on, I have to tell you that this kid was completely competent, and "normal". In no way was he handicapped or autistic. He was smart and with his fraternity brothers, was totally normal. I say this because if I were hearing the story I would think that maybe he had social problems or something. But no, no this kid was just plain odd when it came to girls and dating.}

The guy that was randomly selected for me was about two feet shorter than I was, and had hair like Spock. Now, I agree that attraction can grow. But I think you have to have some sort of initial attraction. Knowing there probably wasn't going to be a huge connection, I just figured I would have fun, and hang out with him, and hopefully gain a friend.

He said he wanted to go someplace where we could talk. So he took me into this room where no one else was, and sat me down and continued to talk (at me) for an entire 2 hours about himself. You may think I'm exaggerating, but I promise, I'm not. Seriously, he never asked me about myself. Not once. He told me his entire life story. And if I started saying something, he would cut me off, and go back to talking about himself. It got pretty annoying, but I decided to be polite, and listen. "It's just one night, and I didn't have to see him again." I told myself.

My sorority sisters would peek their heads in and try to save me by asking if the two of us wanted to come and hang out with them and their dates, but my date wouldn't hear of it. The only time I could get away, was to go to the bathroom. When I came back to say that it was nice to meet him, and I had to get home, he said okay, and then went on talking for another half hour.

Realizing that this kid wasn't going to shut up. And wasn't going to take any hints, I said "Hey, I have to go talk to my sorority sister about something. I went over to a group of my friends, and started relaying the nightmare. Suddenly I realized he was walking by the group and winking at me.

Not just a subtle wink either. All of my sorority sisters were wondering why a random guy was methodically walking to and fro, winking wildly. It sounds silly, but he would walk across the room, lock eyes with me, and wink. Then he would turn back and do the same thing again. He was seriously doing laps around the room trying to get my attention and wink at me.

When I came back to tell him goodbye, figuring he realized that this was NOT a love connection. I said, "Well it was nice meeting you." He said "Yeah, let's do it again soon." I just shrugged it off. He didn't know a thing about me. I mean he had to realize that it wasn't going to happen again. Right?

Wrong. Dead wrong. He called me the very next day. Me not knowing who it was, didn't answer. When he left the message it said he had a really fun time the other night and I seemed like a really cool girl (I don't know how he came to that conclusion since he didn't let me say a word about myself.) He said he really wanted to get together soon. And was wondering when could he take me out on a real date.

I know it's mean, but I tend to be an avoid-er, and I just decided to ignore his message. In the dating world, when you don't get back to someone, they usually get the hint. Not this guy. Nope. A week went by and then he called me again. His message said. Maybe you didn't get my message, but I really want to go on another date. And to call him back.

Once again, I just avoided it. Thinking it's a little harsh, but he will figure it out, and it would just hurt his feelings more to say I wasn't interested and then have to explain why. Then there was a third call, but no message.

A month or two went by and I was dating someone pretty seriously. We were at the Pie Pizzeria downtown with everyone from my boyfriend's work. When suddenly we hear from all the way across the restaurant. "HEY!" "HEY!" (If you have never been, this place is pretty loud, and they serve alcohol, so we didn't think much of it.) But it persisted, "HEY!" "HEY YOU!" Everyone in the place by then was looking at the person yelling, including us.

My jaw nearly dropped to the floor. It was the guy from the awful date. And he was yelling HEY! at me. Then he started yelling "YEAH, YOU!" "YOU NEVER CALLED ME BACK!" "WHO'S THAT GUY YOU'RE WITH?" "HEY!" "HEY, IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND?"

That's when I turned around and explained the situation to the table, and everyone agreed since we were finished with our meal, that we should just slip out quietly.

And luckily I never saw him again. I still laugh about it now. I mean, what was he doing screaming HEY! at me? Did he think I was going to yell back to him across the restaurant? He wanted to hold an hour long convo all the while screaming? I mean what was I going to yell back? "HEY! YEAH THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND, HE ACTUALLY LISTENS WHEN I TALK! HE ALSO DOESN'T HAVE HAIR LIKE SPOCK! OKAY, WELL IT WAS GOOD SCREAMING TO YOU! TELL YOUR MOM HI, AND I HOPE THE FAMILY IS DOING OKAY! I KNOW ALL ABOUT THEM SINCE YOU WOULDN'T STOP TALKING! OH AND DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME? PROBABLY NOT, THAT'S PROBABLY WHY YOU ARE SCREAMING HEY! HEY YOU!

This is the sort of experience that makes me happy I'm married, and never have to deal with the dating scene again. But on a side note, if anyone is interested in a short Trekkie, I know the perfect guy. I'm sure he's still single.

My Song

I often joke that the way Bob got me to marry him was by writing me a song. Well it's not the reason why I married him (there are too many reasons to count) but it was a turning point in our relationship.

We had been dating, but nothing too serious. One night he took me home and mentioned that he had written me a song. That's when I got nervous. After all, there are a lot of guys out there who play the guitar, and think they are musical geniuses. When usually they are pretty bad singers, and the songs are a little weird. I know that sounds harsh, but I have dated some guys that know how to play a few chords on the guitar, and think they can throw a song together and make a girl swoon.

I didn't know if Bob could sing. I knew he played the guitar, but hadn't heard him play much. No guy had ever written me a song before, so I just didn't know what to say. He picked up on the fact that I was a little nervous about hearing it, and quickly said "Never mind, it's no big deal." I asked him what it was about. "You." He said matter of factly. I begged him to sing it, but he didn't have his guitar, and he wasn't sure after my reaction if he wanted to play it for me at all.

Well one night he took me to our spot that overlooks the city and played (and sang) my song for me.

And that's when I realized he was something very different. He is an amazing singer, and he plays the guitar so well. But that's not what got me. The lyrics were so perfect, that I was in tears. Not to mention the way he was looking at me while he played it, like he adored me. Me? The girl who dated guys, but it never went anywhere. Sure I had dated guys who liked me, but never like this. I could see then, that Bob was something else. I remember feeling so flattered. But the thing that touched me the most was that he didn't buy me something extravagant. He didn't make a big show of it. He had put thought into what I would like, and appreciate. And sang how he felt about me.

I still don't know how I got so lucky to marry a person like Bob. A person that is kind, and generous, and funny. I can't imagine what my life would have been like without him, or if I had married someone else. I know one thing, I wouldn't be anywhere near as happy.

(Bob hates it when I gush about him, but it's love month, and it feels appropriate to talk about the one I love most. So he'll just have to deal with it :)

The first date..

To this day Bob and I can't agree on when we first met. Although I am telling you right now, I have a good memory, and Bob has a hard time remembering what happened last week. So I think we know who's story is right.

He says we met in a bowling alley, I say we met at my house playing games. Either way, we met. But we didn't date right off the bat. In fact, I kind of thought he was weird, and he thought I was a little snobby. (Just goes to show, don't judge a book by it's cover.)

Besides.. I was dating someone, and he was dating.. well everyone. Eventually I started losing interest in the guy I was dating, and Bob and I happened to be somewhere together with some mutual friends. I was goofing around, and as we were all leaving, I grabbed his hand and said.. "C'mon Bob".

{At the time I didn't think anything of it. But when I asked Bob what made him ask me out later that night, he said, "Because you grabbed my hand, so I figured you were interested."}

Well later that night I met up with some other friends to get some late night Denny's. We were all laughing and talking so loud, I didn't hear the phone ring. When I got the message, it was Bob asking me out to dinner.

I was flattered, and kind of caught off guard since we had known each other for a while, and we had never talked about dating. So we made plans for a date.

We went on a double date with our friends who had introduced us. We played pool and ate at Stone Ground downtown. Then we headed back to our friend's apartment to play games. We ended up playing one of the funniest games of Truth or Dare. I laughed so hard that night, my cheeks hurt.

I also remember getting dared to dance to no music and to keep a straight face and not laugh. (Which is THE most embarrassing thing. You wouldn't think it would be so bad, but try it sometime. It's awkward.) Bob was incredibly nice all night. He really made me feel like I was the most important person in the room at all times.

I have heard stories of love at first sight, and knowing there was something special from the first meeting, or the first date. That wasn't Bob and me. After the first date, I didn't even know if I liked him that way.

But I'll tell you one thing. I knew right off the bat that Bob was a guy any girl would be lucky to date. He had me laughing from the start of the date to the very end. He is super smart, he complimented me all night long. He had such an innate way of making me feel special and important. He was just that really genuine good guy you always hear about. The guy you are always hoping to find when your friends set you up.

Years later, after we had been married for quite sometime, we were talking about when we were dating. That's when he told me, that he didn't think I was snobby back when we first met, like he had originally said. He thought I was out of his league.

I realized right then that I was the luckiest girl to have met someone who always knows just what to say and is always sincere when he says it. He always manages to make me feel special and amazing. Even with all of my imperfections. Bob is a blessing I appreciate every single day I get to spend with him. Even those days he eats beef jerky in bed.

Yeah, I married a good one. Happy Birthday (On Sunday) Robert.

In {be} tween

Mm, today is just right. The air is cool and crisp enough to wear a long sleeve shirt, but just warm enough to wear shorts or a skirt.

I thought we were in for it when it snowed a couple weeks ago. I thought for sure winter was here to stay. But judging from the last couple of days, I am happy to report, we are nestled right in between Fall and Winter, and I for one am loving it.

This is the perfect time for doing some early Christmas shopping. For taking a run outside in the mornings. (which I should really do more) And for snuggling on down with a good book.

Quick story..

Eric and I used to work with one of those really nerdy, really know-it-all personalities. He would say really odd things, and throw out the occasional insulting remark to the rest of us.

One day I was trying to be extra nice to him and asked what he was doing that weekend. In his typical nasal-ee, snooty voice, he said, "Oh I think I will just snuggle on down with a good novel and sip some hot cocoa."

The room fell silent. And I just couldn't help but ask. "Um, did you just say you were going to snuggle on down?" After another minute of silence the whole room erupted in laughter. I think even he realized how ridiculous it had sounded.

So in honor of this chap, who will remain nameless. Let's all go home this evening and snuggle on down and enjoy this lovely in between-ness. (that's not a word is it)

Sometimes I lose my motor skills.

As some of you may know, this amazing man died a short while ago. For those of you who don't know him, he was a leader in the church I belong to.


This conference I missed hearing Elder Wirthlin speak. He is one of those speakers that radiates with love. In the past he has spoken a lot about kindness, and gratitude. He gave a talk about five years ago, that quickly became my all time favorite. It was a talk that actually helped change me for the better. That doesn't happen often.

Anyway a story.. (and in true simplycaitlin fashion it was slightly embarrassing)

A while ago I had some good friends get married. I parked in the ZCMI center parking lot and like a dummy didn't think to write down where I parked in that huge lot, or even try to remember what level I was on. So when their wedding lunch was over I headed out to my car. About an hour later I realized someone had stolen my car. Okay, okay someone must have at least moved it. I couldn't find it anywhere.

I must have looked pretty strange frantically pushing the panic button on my key fob and holding it straight up. I swear to you I looked on every single level and walked up and down every single row of cars. I was beginning to think that I was never going to see my car again.

Finally I heard my car respond in honking when I pushed the button, but it was somehow across in another parking structure. I don't know if I just went back in the wrong door or what. Having no idea how to find the car or the other structure, I was on the verge of tears. Suddenly a black limo pulls up, and out walks Joseph B. Wirthlin and his body guard.

The three of us got into the empty elevator, and exchanged looks. The funny thing was I was standing really close to Elder Wirthlin and he was about a foot shorter than me. I looked down at him, and he looked up at me with his big glasses, and I didn't know what to say. I was frantic and was upset about my car. So what do I say?

"I lost my car."

*awkward silence*

Then his body guard politely told me how to get to the other parking garage and they got out of the elevator. THAT'S ALL I SAID!! I just sat there stunned, thinking about all I would have wanted to say to him. Like how much his last talk in conference changed my life and how amazing I think he is. But did I say that? Um no, I believe my exact words were "I lost my car." I was a tad disgusted with myself.

5 minutes later I found my car and was driving home calling my parents and telling them about the adventure I just had. The moral of the story is, if you are ever in an elevator with an apostle, a celebrity, a singer whatever.. Try to say at least more than four words. Try for eleven.. I lost my car, can I take a picture with you?

The Item

My palms were sweaty, my eyes shifty. I quickly snatched the item before anyone had a chance to notice. Power walked to the front of the store, head down, shifting the item into the crook of my arm, trying to be discreet I made my way to the check out stands. Mind racing.. "Do I know her?" "What are they looking at?"

Aimed for just the right cashier who would understand. "Don't make eye contact, argh.. accidentally made eye contact". Awkwardness while waiting for it to be scanned, and shuffled into the bag.

"Not the plastic bag!" Took the see through bag and wrapped the handles around it, so the contents weren't quite as visible. Dashed to my car. Shifted the item to the hood of the car, while fumbling for my keys. "Dang this enormous purse!". Opened the door. Ah, safe, snug inside the car, breathed a sigh of relief. I did it.

What item am I referring to? Perhaps a female product? A naughty video tape? A Donny Osmond cassette? No, far worse.

The Snuggie. (ie: blanket with sleeves)

I ventured into the store and spotted a Snuggie on sale. Knowing that my cousin's birthday was fast approaching, and realizing that it would not only be funny, but probably functional. I grabbed it. But then I felt the eyes on me. In fact at one point a random stranger came up to me, gave me the "thumbs up", and said "The snuuuhgie" in his best surfer boy tone. And walked off smirking.

What had I done? Should I put it back? No, I've come this far, I'm finishing this. Luckily the recipients were amused and entertained. What they should realize, is that the true gift was loving them enough to go through the Snuggie Gauntlet. Not everyone is prepared for that kind of trauma.

The tallest stalker I have ever met (cont.)

(Continuing this previous story..)

Later that night I was getting ready for bed. It was about 2 a.m. and I get a text from who else, but Mr. Tall. It read "How was working at the "snack bar" today?"

I was put off by the fact that he thought it was okay to send me a text at 2 a.m. and also confused that he was contacting me at all. I thought I had been pretty clear about not being interested. I ignored the text and went to bed.

The next night I was hanging out with my friend from the party, and he called again. She convinced me to answer the phone and talk to him. He was pretending like nothing was weird, and asked me again when we could hang out. Apparently he thought I was playing hard to get or something.

Keep in mind I had contacted him once, and he had called and texted me in just a three day time period about six times. Now, I'm not someone who likes confrontation, but I definitely didn't think I was sending him mixed signals. I politely declined his offer to hang out.

He wouldn't take no for an answer. He then texted me again that night around 1 a.m. The text simply said "Call me tomorrow, I just want to talk to you." The next day I was still deciding if I was going to call him, when he called AGAIN.

I quickly picked up the phone, and said. "Hey, listen. I am really flattered you are going to all this work, but I am just not interested. I didn't want to mince words for fear he would interpret it as "Please keep calling and texting me."

He then said, he just wanted to see me again. To prove how good of a guy he was, and to show me how much I would like him. (Let me just reiterate, he was one of those jock good looking guys. Who seemed (SEEMED) totally normal.)

I told him I was just heading into work and I had to go. He said "Fine, I'll talk to you later." (Not a real bright guy.) I went to work and told all of my co-workers about the whole situation. They all agreed it was weird, and told me not to answer if he called, and hopefully he would get the picture.

Well about halfway through my shift, my co-worker from the downstairs office called to tell me that a tall guy was looking for me, and had sent him up to see me. I was floored. How did he know which hospital I worked at? Why was he there!?

When he got to the snack bar, he finds a very frustrated and not so happy Caitlin. I see him and say "Do you believe I work at a snack bar now?" We sit down at a table and talk for a total of 2 awkward minutes, where I am mainly just staring at him in annoyance. Then he leaves. I never hear from him again and am relieved.

Well about 2 months later my friend spots him at a party, and strikes up a conversation with him. She asks if he remembers her, and she was the friend of mine from that party. He says "Oh yeah, that didn't work out." My friend laughs and says "Well from what I heard you were pretty into her." To which he replies with "No way, I would never date a deli girl."

When she told me later, I burst out laughing, and from there on out whenever anyone asked me what I did for a living I replied with. "I'm a deli girl." (Hey not everyone can have the ever so glamorous job of working for a trucking company.) Seriously just thinking about it now, cracks me up. It's still to this day one of my favorite "dating" stories.

The tallest stalker I have ever met.

(Took this picture while antiquing in Colorado with Bon.)

When I was about 21, I went to a college bbq with some friends. There were tons of people and we were having fun mingling and chatting with people. Well my friend spots this guy that she thinks is incredibly attractive. He was 6'6 so he was hard to miss.

I told her to go and talk to him, but she was nervous, so she asked me if I could go start up a conversation with them and introduce us to him and his friends to get the ball rolling for her. So I agreed and headed over to talk to the group.

After chatting for a while we all talked about hanging out later in the week. That's when "Mr. Tall" asked me for my number. I politely told him he should ask for my friends number, and then he could call her and we could all hang out. My friend pulled me aside and said to just give him my number and then we could all hang out later and maybe she could get to know him better, but it's no big deal if we hit it off. (Which was incredibly cool of her, but I wasn't interested. It wasn't that he wasn't attractive, it was how he treated my friend and me so differently. I didn't love his attitude. It was like he knew he was good looking, and acted in suit.)

But I decided to give him my number thinking he would probably never call, and if he did I would make sure my friend was there. We said our goodbyes and hung out a while longer at the party. Occasionally Mr. Tall would catch my eye and wink at me. Which I found even more of a turn off, because it didn't seem genuine. By the end of the night we had met a few other guys and I had forgotten about Big Foot. (Seriously I had to crane my neck just to look at him.)

Well I had left my phone in my car, and when I got in, I realized I had a message from Mr. Tall. Surprised, since I figured he had asked for a lot of girls numbers. I listened to the message, which seemed really nice and genuine. He had said I was the prettiest girl he had met all night, and wanted to get to know me better. So I thought, hmm, maybe I'll give him a chance.

I decided it was late and I would just call him the next day to set up a group date. Well about two hours later I got a text from him saying "Why haven't you called me back yet?" Which I thought was weird, but I was already in bed, and decided I would figure it out the next day.

I had to work the following day early in the morning, so I was going to call him on my lunch break. When I got out to call him, he had called again. When I listened to the message it was kind of rude.

I quickly called him and he answered. I was a little put off, but thought maybe it had been a misunderstanding. So we talked and I told him I was at work. He asked where I worked and I told him.

{Let's break for a second. I used to work at a hospital in the snack bar.}

Well when I told him, he laughed out loud and said "Where do you really work?" I told him again, and he said "If you work at a hospital snack bar, I'm the manager at McDonald's."

I told him he was going to feel really stupid when he realized that I did indeed work where I said I did. Then asked him how it was working at McDonald's. Scoffing, he said.. "I work at a trucking company." (Like that was some amazing job.)

At this point in the conversation I realized I just wasn't interested. He seemed uppity and disrespectful. So when he asked when we were going to hang out, I told him that I just wasn't feeling it and I was very flattered, but just didn't think it would work out. (I know that seems kind of harsh, but I felt like he was acting like a jerk, he seemed a bit clingy, and I wanted to be honest and not lead him on.)

He huffed something like "Fine, whatever." and we said our goodbyes. I felt kind of bad about it, but figured that would be the end.

Um no, it wasn't the end, little did I know it hadn't even begun. This post is already pretty long, so I will post the rest of the story later this week.

To be continued..

Cheater's never prosper.

A little while ago Bob and I were playing a game and I caught him cheating. When I called him on it, he started laughing and said that was part of the game. "Oh really? I don't remember seeing that in the instructions." Bob informed me that if you can get away with cheating in a game, it's just strategy. He also said it's his way of making the game more fun. Then he said "Come on.. you have never cheated?" I told him no, it wasn't as fun for me, and I wanted to know that I was winning because I played well, not because I was cheating.. then I remembered something..

Way back before I met Bob, I was dating a guy. Well one of his friends met my friend Alana, and asked her out. So we decided to double and do dinner and games. We had dinner and throughout the evening it became more and more obvious that Alana and this guy were not exactly a love connection. Then we pulled out Cranium. (If you have never played it, it's a game that encompasses drawing, acting, trivia, and multiple choice questions.. kind of like a game of charades + pictionary + trivial pursuit)

We decided to play boys against girls. I should tell you that Alana and I were about 19 or 20 at the time and they were both about ten years older than us. So they sort of had an upper hand on the trivia questions. Well before we could even start playing, Alana's date had to pull out the instructions.. he had to read them aloud before we could begin. Then if we did anything differently from the instructions he would stop the game and refer back to the rules and read them out loud again. He was so incredibly rigid on these rules that it got kind of ridiculous, and I think at one point Alana even teased him by yelling "You're sucking all the fun out of the game!"

Thus his nickname was born.. "Fun-sucker" {We lovingly referred to him for months after. "Alana, you remember that guy you went out with once?" "Oh you mean Fun-sucker?" } So in a way to keep the game fun Alana and I decided we were going to cheat and when they answered a question.. no matter what they said, it was wrong, and we would hurry and put the card back in the middle of the stack. This got to be hysterical for us, because they were both so sure that they were getting every single question right, and were so confused at the fact that we told them they were getting them wrong.

We thought we would win for sure until it came down to an obscure question about a soccer player that was apparently "Fun-sucker's" hero, and we couldn't tell him he was wrong because he would know. We actually ended up still losing even after cheating.. so I guess they're right.. cheater's never prosper.

When I relayed this story to Bob, he rolled his eyes, and said.. well you should have cheated better. Or hid the rules from him.

I give up.

(So if you ever play games with the BobCat, and you see me smack Bob.. you'll know he's cheating.)

A little story to send you off on your weekend..

(Me, Alana, and Julia U of U game)

Long ago.. long before I met Robert. Long before I started this fun little blog. I was young, single and was having fun dating a bunch of different guys. (I wasn't a playyah.. but I had a little game... wow. I am so white.)

Well I was dating this guy casually, while I was dating another guy kind of seriously. (Don't judge me.. the other guy knew I was still dating around.) The one time in my life I did that. And of course I got busted for it. But that will come later. This certain gentleman was a cute guy, that I dated a few times and had fun with, but it just never got serious. One of the classic cases of.. just not meant to be.

The funny thing about this guy in particular, is that I would constantly embarrass myself in front of him. Three instances come to mind..

1. We had been on a couple dates, and were playing pool in my parents basement. When a conversation came up. The topic? When was the last time (mom plug your ears) I made out with a guy? Of course he had to ask that question, because I was just getting more serious with another guy who later became my boyfriend. And of course OF COURSE he asked that when I had just kissed this other guy the night previous. I didn't want to lie, so I quietly mumbled "It might have been last night." Luckily he laughed and we continued the night. (Without kissing)

2. Then I started dating the other guy and I kind of lost track of this guy. Well after guy number 2 and I broke up, I started seeing this guy around. I happened to get tickets to an event downtown at the last minute. I was already downtown, so I called him up to see if he wanted to meet me there and join me for the event. He said yes, and drove a separate car downtown. When the event was over he offered to drive me to my car. Well the area was packed and I drive a white Honda Accord. Needless to say there were about a million parked white Honda's. After driving around forever, I finally find my car. (so I thought)

We said our goodbye's and I got out of the car. Unfortunately as I approached I realized it wasn't my car. I started walking really slowly and hoped he wouldn't be a gentleman and wait for me to get into the car. No such luck. I muttered under my breath "See ya!" and fumbled for my keys in my purse, hoping he would drive away. After about a couple minutes I hear him call out "That's not your car is it?". I slowly turned around with my head down, embarrassed. Once again he was super nice and said "Get back in the car!"

3. We don't see each other for a couple weeks and then I happened to see him at a football game. A very loud football game. He's quite a few rows in front of me, but turns around waves and smiles. My sorority sister nudges me and asks who he is. I tell him we had gone on a couple dates, but that's it. She replies with, "He's hot!." Which I agree, and then I kind of forget about him. Later on I catch another glimpse and lean over to her and say "He really is hot." That conversation goes on much longer than it should. Why you ask? Well because it turns out his best friend was standing directly in front of me, heard the whole conversation, and of course told him everything I had said. I find out later and realize that's the last straw. I'm going to hide the next time I see him.

Unfortunately the next time we ran into each other, I stopped and turned in the other direction, just in time for him to see and call out to me. I stopped, mumbled hello, and said something about needing to get home to study, but it was nice seeing him. And then darted for the door. Yes, I realize I could have handled that a lot better, but what can I say? I was nineteen, 19 year olds do stupid things.

I love looking back on funny dating stories. I can laugh now, and it makes me so grateful I ended up with who I did. My girlfriends always crack up when I tell them my crazy dating stories, and one, the other day mentioned I should start blogging them. That way my kids can make fun of me when they read them down the line. So stay tuned.. I have been going through old pictures lately and cracking up as the memories come flooding back. Have a good weekend! Hope it's free from embarrassment and you can all find your cars!

Wow, that looked pretty bad.

Remember in Clueless where Tai walks into the party and falls down the stairs, and then the random guy comes up to her and says "Are you okay? That looked pretty bad."

That's the first thing that popped into my head when I fell at the grocery store this week..

The other night it was pouring rain and I stopped to get a 12 pack of Sprite and a gallon of milk. It was so crowded that there wasn't much parking, so I definitely had an audience for the ever so graceful swan dive.

I was wearing flip flops and totally slid coming out of the store and fell hard. My legs went flailing, I dropped the box, and cans went flying all over. All the while cursing and slumped on the ground I tried to gather the scattered Sprite cans.

That's when I hear, "Wow, it's slippery out here, are you okay?" When I looked up I saw a chubby 15 year old kid in a Metallica shirt staring down at me.

I was so embarrassed and was trying to get out of there. I mumbled something like "Yeah thanks." but when I looked back up, he had already left and was quickly getting into a car. It was bizarre because tons of people were watching and not one of them said anything except for this kid and it wasn't like he was helping me gather the cans and help me up, he was almost just making an observation.

When I got home I relayed the story to Bob and he just sat silent for a minute and then said "Wow, it's incredible how often this stuff happens to you." "You know winter is coming up, and with all the ice maybe we should invest in getting you some knee pads and a helmet."

She torched Neil?.. You're right, she is a monster.

This man has magical sultry powers.. not to mention a glorious mane of hair.. (on his head and chest.)

You may be thinking, "Wait, is that Neil Diamond?".. "No, it's not just Neil Diamond.. it's pop music's most enduring and successful singer-songwriter. Oh and one more thing. He's magic.

Story..

When Bob and I were first dating we went on a group date with about three other couples. One of the couples was on a blind date. We decided to come back to my parents house after the date to watch Fever Pitch. There's a scene in it when Neil Diamond's song Sweet Caroline starts playing, and since it's a movie about baseball, they play it and the whole stadium starts singing.

Here's where the charismatic words of Mr. Diamond came into effect. The song starts. Eric starts singing all of the words.. "Where it began.." Then a few more of us start singing.. "Hands, touching hands.." We couldn't help it. Soon the entire room was boisterously singing "SWEET CAROLINE!! DUN DUN DUN!" (It's just one of those songs you can't help but sing!)

Okay, when I say the whole room was singing, that's a fib. There was one guy (that was on the blind date) that was looking around in disbelief. Was this really happening? Seriously? Neil Diamond? Apparently the "magic" wasn't working on him.

We just looked over at him and simply stated, "You can't fight Neil. Put on your heart light." (He maybe never hung out with us again.)


(**Title quote from Saving Silverman)

The Cake

Let me tell you a story about my friends the Swenson's.

For my birthday back in February they innocently told me they would make a cake for the party. Well we went out to dinner at a nice restaurant, and when it came time for cake, the restaurant brought out this cake.

We all thought it was the restaurant who had made this professional looking cake. I mean after all it was three stacks and was covered in hand shaved chocolate. We were then informed this was the cake the Swenson's brought.

What's more is when Jessica's birthday rolled around I told her I would make her a cake, but told her it wouldn't be the masterpiece that mine was. Would you like to know what she said?

"Oh that cake was no big deal, we just threw it together in 20 minutes." To which I replied.. um yeah right.

So I knew I had to out do the cake they had made, and make a bigger.. more extravagant one. So I made this cake for her birthday. I made six cakes. Two confetti, two strawberry, and two chocolate. It sort of looked like a Neapolitan cake when we sliced it open. I stacked them all together and then frosted all the layers and the top. I also threw on an entire box of Oreos for decoration. It kind of looked like a big, tippy Dr. Suess cake. It might not have looked as professional.. but it was bigger!

When she saw it, she said thanks.. this must have taken you forever.

To which I replied..

"Oh no, only like 20 minutes, it really just made itself." "I actually stood three feet away, and thought it could use some Oreos, so I just nonchalantly flicked them at the cake and they just sort of stuck."

It was a great birthday celebration on Thursday for Jessica, thanks Jess and Gav for letting me tease you about the cake. But next year I expect a 10 layer cake with fireworks and a spinning cake stand. But don't take too much time on it. You know, in between the commercials during Lost or something. :)

Goo{ber}

(Bonnie and Brenda pretending to be Miss America's at my wedding reception. I thought this might give you a good visual for the story below.)

Do you ever have those moments where you think someone is going to say something, and they don't, but you still respond? Case in point..

Caitlin: (On the phone with a customer) "Hi, how are you?"

Customer: "Good, I need a price for something."

Caitlin: (Thinking they were going to ask how I was, went to say: "Good thanks!") and it came out "Gooo.."(Goo.. really?)

**awkward silence**

(At this point I don't know how to recover, so I weakly say..) "Goo..ood, yes, sure."

Or do you ever have one of those times when someone is waving and you think they're waving at you, but it's really someone behind you? And you try to pretend you were just fixing your hair or waving to the person behind them.. and they always know and give you that face like you are some weirdo? Yeah those two things happened to me in the same day. (Eh, it makes me want to cringe.)

So just imagine me wandering around waving and saying "goo".. does this remind you of a handicapped person? I thought so.

Uncle Sam Accosted Me

I was attacked.

Don't be worried, everything is fine now.

Just beware if you see this man..

He was lurking in front of a tax place waving his arms and body about to and fro. I spotted him on my way back from lunch yesterday (it was a really windy day), he was standing in my way taunting me. Then he chased me with his gangly arms. Yes, he chased me out onto the grass. I was screaming and for some strange reason the people passing by and the cars waiting for the red light were laughing.

Luckily I got away unscathed.

** Please note that when I went home and told Bob what had happened his reply was "How do these things keep happening to you?" Not something like "I'll go teach Uncle Sam a lesson."

I guess this means I will have to take matters into my own hands.

Let me tell you an old western story..

Picture an abandoned old town. With nothing but dust and tumble weeds. In the background there is a slight sound of wind and music dun dun dah dun dun.. (cue tumbleweed)

Slowly someone ambles into the street, looking tough and spits (because that's what they do in a town like that)..

This person is the law in these parts and has to fend off gun slingers. Luckily someone gave her this for her birthday.. (Don't be fooled by the girly pink appearance.)

(Enter bad guy)

The two of them stare at each other. One of those long stares. Their fingers both twitching over their weapons..


They both turn and fire..

And the bad guy won. Come on people. Pepper spray against a gun? Let's be serious. Plus I mean this is what it says on the box..


If that is referring to the % of time it works, then I don't know if I'm comfortable with my odds.

The ants go marching..

Well at least they did. But not anymore. Nope. They're finally all gone. As some of you know we had a slight ant problem at Casa Selle that was driving me bonkers.

They were every where and it was causing me so much grief that I eventually started having mini breakdowns, where I would scream, yell, and curse at these stupid little black creatures.

I would go into the bathroom and there would be about ten ants mindlessly crawling around in MY bath tub. (not to mention every where else in the house)

At first I tried to reason with them..

"Mr. Ant, if you please, I would like to take a bath and you are in the way. Scoot." (The ant would reply with aimlessly darting around, not listening.)

The next few times I tried to threaten them..

"Listen ants.. either you scram or I take this ant spray and send you to ant heaven." (Ant: more aimless darting to and fro)

Then we put out the ant hotels..

What did they do? Well they crawled all over them, came in and out. Spent the night and checked out the next morning.

A little later I tried intimidation..well really there was just a lot of screaming and cursing. I told them I hated them. (Bob thought this tactic was interesting. "Go for the self esteem Cait, I'm sure they will feel so bad that they just leave.")

The final straw was when I sat down to eat my dinner and a little ant came crawling out of my food. That's when the breakdown happened. I may have screamed at the top of my lungs, I just maybe threw my food in the trash and stomped out of the room. (Bob calls this a tantrum, I call it, letting off steam)

That's when Bob decided it was time to call the landlord and get a pest control person to spray them. When the guy came to spray I'm sure he thought I was a little nuts and slightly sadistic, when I kept asking him questions like so all the ants are going to die right? All of them.. dead? He assured me it should get them all.

Bob kept telling me to remember the movie Honey I Shrunk the Kids, when they are in the backyard and the heroic ant saves them. I looked at Bob and dryly told him that if that ant were living in my bathtub I would have no problem smashing him and laughing while I did it.

So it finally happened. I turned into the villain from every Disney Movie. I can see the movie now, these poor defenseless ants with no where to go. Living in the walls and dressing up in little hats. All the while the evil tyrant yelling at them and putting them down. Just like those little rodents in Cinderella. Oh well. I am willing to play the villain as long as I don't have ants sleeping in my bed anymore.

Let me paint a picture for you..

wake up at 5 a.m.

scurry off to the gym

do some seriously intense cardio

limp over to the machines to do a leg workout

kill my legs.. seriously.. they are jello-fied

sit there trying to recover

see a very very buffed man walking towards me

see this man decide to stretch directly (and a little too close) in front of me

see this man do the splits. not side splits. MIDDLE SPLITS

scratch my head trying to understand how in the hizzeck he is managing this

realize it's way too early to see this kind of stuff

decide to hobble home before I see any other acts of sweaty contortion-ism

shower and try to wash my eyes with soap.