THE DOG (and the neighbor)

If you have followed this blog for a while it will come as no surprise that we have another interesting neighbor situation. If you haven't followed click here,here, and here to get a glimpse into our past of crazies.

Well it seems the other night our neighbor (and when I say neighbor, I mean our apartment complex is next to a house that this neighbor lives in.) decided to bring home a dog.

We haven't figured out yet if it's staying or if the guy has guests and they brought the dog. Either way, let me tell you the dog is in danger of a water ballooning. It was introduced to this guys very small backyard last week around 1 in the morning.

I laid in bed and listened to them slamming, shuffling, and hammering. (I think they must have been building a dog house or something else equally absurd to be doing at 1 a.m.) then the dog came.

It trotted around the backyard all night. Getting familiar with its surroundings. All the while, the collar clinking. Which doesn't sound so bad, but it is. It's always clinking. There is a non stop clink, clink, clink at all hours of the day and night. Not to mention the whining, barking, and other noises that I kid you not, sound just like Chewbacca.

Sure it's annoying. But could be ignored, unfortunately that's not all. Something new has developed. The old man comes out doors first thing in the morning (while I am still sleeping) and in his best, very loud "dog/baby voice" says things like "Are you a good dog?" "Are you?" or "Come here, come here, let me pet you," "Don't you want to get pets and loves?" "Come here." Or Bob's favorite conversation between the man and man's best friend..

Dog: Bark!
Man: No!
Dog: Bark!
Man: No!
Dog: BARK!
Man: NO!

This goes on for what I am sure is minutes, but seems like days. Which is fun for us because we not only have to hear the dog barking, but the man as well.

Lately Bob and I have been plotting ways to put a stop to all the noise. Contemplating crowbars, and setting the wild creature free. (the dog, not the man.) Instead Bob informed me this morning of what he finally did to fix the problem. (And I wish I had it on videotape.)

Bob said the man came out and started into his usual dog talking. The man said "Are you a good dog?" Well the window was open in our apartment building, so Bob decided to answer in his best high pitched puppy voice... "Yep."

He said the man stopped for a second, couldn't figure out where the voice had come from, looked around for a second, looked a little embarrassed, turned around and walked back into the house. Bob said he was laughing so hard he could hardly breath. And I have to say when he told me about it this morning I had a good chuckle too. I know it sounds a little harsh, but he needs to realize he is talking so loudly and so early in the morning that he is disturbing the entire apartment complex.

Bob said he actually saw another dog in his yard as well. One with a cone around its neck. I assume he doesn't bark due to the embarrassment of the lampshade on his head. Now if only we could procure another cone, and figure out a way to sneak over there while the creature is sleeping and slip it on his head. (the man, not the dog.)

October Weekend

(I made these place cards for the brunch.)

Friday night Bob and I had a date. We saw this movie (which was over the top gory, but seriously funny) And then on Saturday, my sister hosted a brunch. We ate really yummy food. We laughed, talked and relaxed. And followed it all up with this movie. (p.s. don't waste your time seeing it, it was lame.)

The rest of the weekend we moved. I have almost put the kitchen away. Pictures soon I promise.

P.S. The move can't come quickly enough. Our upstairs neighbors are always keeping us up. It's usually Opera singing at the crack of dawn. But this morning around four a.m it sounded more like river dance while screaming at the top of their lungs at each other. Which begs the question.. "What person in their right mind is awake at that hour? At four in the morning I have a hard enough time opening my eyes, let alone getting worked up enough to scream. I imagine one of them stole the blanket and it escalated into a dramatic Broadway musical.

Cell Phone Courtesy

A while back, I was at a movie with a friend. Halfway through the movie, a phone rang. Not a shock, that happens. But what usually is avoided, is actually answering the phone. Not only did this person answer, they used there "outside" voice with a big "Hulla?" then a "Yeah, he's right here!" (passes the phone to idiot #2) "HULLA?" "No, not much, just watching a movie.." (this goes on for another 5 minutes)

The whole theatre was angry and seriously considering launching popcorn and juju's directly at these two. My friend and I were laughing uncontrollably at these two people who had the audacity to yell into their cell phone in the middle of a movie. And the movie just kept on playing. Unfortunately the only thing we could hear was the stimulating and all too important cell phone conversation.

But I think I have found a solution. Maybe this would discourage people from using their cell phones at the inappropriate times..

I don't know about you, but I would have to find a bigger purse.

sleep deprived

am plotting ways to get back at my not so thoughtful downstairs neighbors. can't imagine any reason to blare your stereo and bass until midnight.. unless of course they are sacrificing animals and beating drums.. in which case i think it could wait til' morning. perhaps vacuuming outside their door at 5 am will shut them up.. or me sneaking down the fire escape and duct taping their windows from the outside...

Not what you want to see before you go to bed..

Um, Mr. Middle Eastern downstairs neighbor boy? If you could please remove your scantily clad (and might I say hairy) body from the stairwell so I can avoid having to squeeze past you when I get home every night. It would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

your upstairs neighbor (who is soon to be wearing a blind fold when she comes in at night)

p.s. Please spare me from having to see you in your old man short striped boxers and your wife beater (that is completely see through) so I can get a good night sleep minus the "hairy" nightmares. Just because it's ten o'clock does not mean it's too late for anyone to see or run into you. Believe me.