Monday, March 22, 2010

The Blind Date


Recently a single friend of mine was telling me about a bad blind date she had just gone on. While she was describing all the horror, she asked if she was the only one who ever gets set up on really bad blind dates? I had to laugh, and ask "Aren't most blind dates bad?" I mean come on. You don't know if there is any attraction ahead of time, and if the date goes bad there is an obligation to get through the entire date, so you don't offend the mutual friends involved. I know there are exceptions to the rule. But most of my friends have agreed blind dates, usually never go past the first date.

This got me thinking of one of my worst blind dates. When I was single, I was in a sorority. One of our activities was to get set up on a date with a guy from a fraternity. But it was at a party thing, so we could all just mingle, and see if we liked each other.

{Before I go on, I have to tell you that this kid was completely competent, and "normal". In no way was he handicapped or autistic. He was smart and with his fraternity brothers, was totally normal. I say this because if I were hearing the story I would think that maybe he had social problems or something. But no, no this kid was just plain odd when it came to girls and dating.}

The guy that was randomly selected for me was about two feet shorter than I was, and had hair like Spock. Now, I agree that attraction can grow. But I think you have to have some sort of initial attraction. Knowing there probably wasn't going to be a huge connection, I just figured I would have fun, and hang out with him, and hopefully gain a friend.

He said he wanted to go someplace where we could talk. So he took me into this room where no one else was, and sat me down and continued to talk (at me) for an entire 2 hours about himself. You may think I'm exaggerating, but I promise, I'm not. Seriously, he never asked me about myself. Not once. He told me his entire life story. And if I started saying something, he would cut me off, and go back to talking about himself. It got pretty annoying, but I decided to be polite, and listen. "It's just one night, and I didn't have to see him again." I told myself.

My sorority sisters would peek their heads in and try to save me by asking if the two of us wanted to come and hang out with them and their dates, but my date wouldn't hear of it. The only time I could get away, was to go to the bathroom. When I came back to say that it was nice to meet him, and I had to get home, he said okay, and then went on talking for another half hour.

Realizing that this kid wasn't going to shut up. And wasn't going to take any hints, I said "Hey, I have to go talk to my sorority sister about something. I went over to a group of my friends, and started relaying the nightmare. Suddenly I realized he was walking by the group and winking at me.

Not just a subtle wink either. All of my sorority sisters were wondering why a random guy was methodically walking to and fro, winking wildly. It sounds silly, but he would walk across the room, lock eyes with me, and wink. Then he would turn back and do the same thing again. He was seriously doing laps around the room trying to get my attention and wink at me.

When I came back to tell him goodbye, figuring he realized that this was NOT a love connection. I said, "Well it was nice meeting you." He said "Yeah, let's do it again soon." I just shrugged it off. He didn't know a thing about me. I mean he had to realize that it wasn't going to happen again. Right?

Wrong. Dead wrong. He called me the very next day. Me not knowing who it was, didn't answer. When he left the message it said he had a really fun time the other night and I seemed like a really cool girl (I don't know how he came to that conclusion since he didn't let me say a word about myself.) He said he really wanted to get together soon. And was wondering when could he take me out on a real date.

I know it's mean, but I tend to be an avoid-er, and I just decided to ignore his message. In the dating world, when you don't get back to someone, they usually get the hint. Not this guy. Nope. A week went by and then he called me again. His message said. Maybe you didn't get my message, but I really want to go on another date. And to call him back.

Once again, I just avoided it. Thinking it's a little harsh, but he will figure it out, and it would just hurt his feelings more to say I wasn't interested and then have to explain why. Then there was a third call, but no message.

A month or two went by and I was dating someone pretty seriously. We were at the Pie Pizzeria downtown with everyone from my boyfriend's work. When suddenly we hear from all the way across the restaurant. "HEY!" "HEY!" (If you have never been, this place is pretty loud, and they serve alcohol, so we didn't think much of it.) But it persisted, "HEY!" "HEY YOU!" Everyone in the place by then was looking at the person yelling, including us.

My jaw nearly dropped to the floor. It was the guy from the awful date. And he was yelling HEY! at me. Then he started yelling "YEAH, YOU!" "YOU NEVER CALLED ME BACK!" "WHO'S THAT GUY YOU'RE WITH?" "HEY!" "HEY, IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND?"

That's when I turned around and explained the situation to the table, and everyone agreed since we were finished with our meal, that we should just slip out quietly.

And luckily I never saw him again. I still laugh about it now. I mean, what was he doing screaming HEY! at me? Did he think I was going to yell back to him across the restaurant? He wanted to hold an hour long convo all the while screaming? I mean what was I going to yell back? "HEY! YEAH THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND, HE ACTUALLY LISTENS WHEN I TALK! HE ALSO DOESN'T HAVE HAIR LIKE SPOCK! OKAY, WELL IT WAS GOOD SCREAMING TO YOU! TELL YOUR MOM HI, AND I HOPE THE FAMILY IS DOING OKAY! I KNOW ALL ABOUT THEM SINCE YOU WOULDN'T STOP TALKING! OH AND DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME? PROBABLY NOT, THAT'S PROBABLY WHY YOU ARE SCREAMING HEY! HEY YOU!

This is the sort of experience that makes me happy I'm married, and never have to deal with the dating scene again. But on a side note, if anyone is interested in a short Trekkie, I know the perfect guy. I'm sure he's still single.

5 comments:

Heather said...

Oh Caitlin! I love your blog, it makes me smile always at the time I most need to! Thanks for the crazy story! Did I ever tell you that David and I met on a blind date? Yep! and it was a really fun date too. (Don't tell David I told you but we even played footsies one are blind date! Ha Ha Ha I laugh whenever I think of that, David just denies that he ever was so twitterpated to have done that!)

Heather said...

oops I meant to say "footsies on our..."

likeschocolate said...

Yes, I think most blind dates are just terriable. Usually, the friends are passing on someone that they think is nice, but would never date themselves.

Cate said...

oy. that sounds terrible, but i am so glad that it happened to you, caitlin, for two reasons. first, you can now totally appreciate your husband. second, you can tell us about it and make us laugh!

i've only been on one blind date my entire life, and it did not go well either. the guy was a heartthrob at brown, where my roommates went to school, and they thought they were doing me a big favor setting me up with him. let's just say that jerks are not my type, no matter how hot. ick.

Le blÖg d'Ötli said...

What a story !!! Ha ha ! I never had blind dates... but now, I'm sure, I'll never have one ;)