I thwarted a shoplifter. Yes, that's right I saw a girl stuffing the goods into her pockets and I went right up to her and did one of those cool spin kicks and hit her in the stomach, causing her to fall to the ground and everything came spilling out of her pockets. Then I noticed I was surrounded by strangers who were clapping for my good deed.
Okay, so it might not have happened exactly that way..
I was waiting in line at a grocery store trying to buy pumpkins and there was a girl in front of me trying to buy a tube of lipstick. She wouldn't move forward so I could put the heavy pumpkins on the conveyor belt thing, so I was getting a little mad and may have wanted to kick her. When it's her turn to check out, some brand new makeup comes spilling out of her pocket. She didn't make a move to grab it (obviously not wanting to get caught) So I picked it up and very loudly said "Hey, I think you dropped this." She got super flustered and said "Oh thanks." Then she tries to keep holding it and not pay for it. (Which I felt was a creative and equally bizarre tactic.)
The girl checking her out was fuming and told her she was going to have to ring that up. Then went over to get her manager. Busted.
Yeah, that's right I'm a crime fighter. (On the way out I chucked one of my pumpkins at her... okay the pumpkin thing didn't happen, but it would have in the movies.)